I’m just gonna go straight to the point and say I don’t care.
I mean, I care but at least not to the level I blame it with all my energy and common sense and mope around for an extended of time and then just vanish at the face of the social-media-earth.
Locus of Control
Sa journey ko ng self-improvement and growth, and I’ve talked about this sa Molongski Mindset with MeMa (Merryl and Magikarp), I’ve been more conscious about determining what Locus of Control is at play (we have a full podcast about it here).
The most convenient and natural thing to do is blame Upwork and say their system or algorithm for computing freelancers’ JSS under its platform is broken (like how your heart was when your ex left you hehe).
“Sira ang sistema.”
“Mali ang computation nila.“
“Puro clients na lang iniiisip nila.“
“Ampangit talaga ng Upwork.”
Masarap sabihin diba? Masarap ipasa sa iba ang blame and somehow it makes us feel better. Sa sobrang sarap neto, hindi mo na namalayan na naging habit mo na to at deeply embedded na sa personality mo. At mamaya it’s the only kind of dynamics you attract dito sa Universe.
I’m gonna take this opportunity para i-share ng sinabi sakin nung isang nakainum ko dati.
“Watch your thoughts,they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
Remember yung examples sa Locus of Control episode ng Molongski Mindset na hindi mo pinanood kasi akala mo wala ka mapapala kasi hindi about sa Freelancing at inassume mong sayang lang oras mo pag nakinig or nanood ka?
Ang sitwasyon, Si Nadine at James parehong mababa ang nakuha sa exam.
Si James na malakas ang external locus of control, sabi, “Naknang… Hindi lumabas sa exam yung mga nireview ko. Ampanget nung pagkasulat ng exam. Hindi magaling yung gumawa ng exam. Bakit puro essay? Aanhin ko yon. Saka bakit yung mga yung pa yung ginawa niyang ipaenumerate. Nareview ko naman ang lahat ng pages at chapters. Ah basta. Wala akong pagkukulang, nag-aral ako.” Sabay kuha pa ng validation sa mga kaklase at idamay sila sa groupthink bias, “Ambobo talaga ni Miss, noh?”
Ngayon si Nadine na malakas ang Internal Locus of Control niya, sabi niya “Ay hala. Andami ko pa pala kailangan pag-aralan. Akala ko nacover at naintindihan ko na lahat, kaso hindi pa pala. Need ko pa mag-aral ng mas mabuti.”
Anyway, gusto mo pa bang i-translate ko yung illustration tapos freelancer naman ang example or gets mo na?
The Flying Ipis
I’ve dropped the Flying Ipis method sa ilang livestreams and posts na sa Molongski, so I hope by now, alam mo na.
The early version of me would have really really felt bad sa negative review na yan lalo na it lowered my JSS to the lowest it’s been since I started my freelancing over a decade ago. I imagine my reflex reaction would have been to just mope about it and lose interest sa freelancing or moved on sa ibang platform na lang. Or I would have gone to Facebook groups and posted about my negative experience and seeked validation to reinforce the client-inflicted damaged view of my worth, my value and my reality and at the same time siniraan ko na ang Upwork — I would have reacted to the flying ipis na dumikit sa mukha ko instead of responding to it.
Here are 10 things I learned throughout the years na pwede niyo din i-apply if you’re experience or have experienced something similar lately and are still reeling over it.
The Molongski Method
- Don’t react, respond. — let all the shocked, upset, angry and angry chemicals rush sa bloodstream mo. It’s okay. You cannot control that. Take a deep breath and pause. May it be for a second or an hour or a day or a week, basta pause. And then acknowledge the reality and the options you have on ways you can respond sa situation.
- If they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personally, — Mahirap to for some personalities, but taking a step back helps in healing and consquently finding the clarity na hindi ka niya kilala personally and the comment or feedback made was just the client’s opinion of his or her limited experience of you.
- You’re standing too close to the elephant. — If you’re obsessing about a freelancing mishap like an unfair negative feedback from a client or your JSS going on a nosedive, you tend to fail to see the bigger picture. Up close, you’re just gonna see an ugly, dry and wrinkly texture. But when you take a step back, and take a step back some more, you’ll finally see the elephant. The 2.5 rating is just 1 out of the dozens and not hundreds of feedback given to me. That’s just 1 job of of teh 248 I’ve completed and it’s just one wrinkle on the elephant’s skin.
- The Universe has it’s own way of correcting itself. — Maghintay ka lang.
- Know your work. Know your value. — The right person or client will see your value right away. Kita niyo naman sa stark contrast ng feedback ng client na parehong Molongski Method naman gamit ko. The wrong person will never see your true value. And pano ka ba magkakavalue? Daldal lang? Feelings lang na ayaw mong matapakan? No. You have to know your work.
- Walang number 6.
- Faith. — Yung iba I’m sure, 1 or 2 bad expereinces lang sa Upwork, iiwan na at lipat na ng ibang platforms. Upwork pa din, with all it’s pros and cons, and lugar ng mga premium clients. Eventhough dumadami na ang middlemen at agencies, sa Upwork mo pa din matatagpuan ang iyong mga The Ones. Kasi nga madami daw tayong soulmates sabi ni Coehlo.
- Set boundaries. — Im a work in progress pagdating dito. People pleaser ang personality ko. It’s uncomfortable at first if similar tayo ng personality, pero it’s something you have to do to para di magamit ng ibang tao ang energy at time mo. And minsan, like any boundaries, you draw lines and people will fall within your line or they will fall outside the line you set – either by choice or by circumstance. And you have to let them go.
- Letting go.– You’ll undergo yung sinasabi nilang loss and grieving, kasi nawala sayo ang isang version ng buhay mo or freelancing journey mo na okay sana. Na walang rough road sana. Lahat plane rides may turbulence. Lahat ng boat and ship rides maalon. Lahat ng biyahe sa lupa, may lubak. Let go of that reality you just lost and accept the one you have now.
- Stay real. — Social media has made perfection look very achievable and sustainable. Consequently, it has made anything real undesirable. Remember people just painstaking pick the best parts of their lives or their freelancing journey and post it online. Kaya ang nakikita mo lang sa mga friends and lodi mong mga freelancers eh mga kita nilang 6 digits, bagong Macbook, bagong client, mataas na rate, 100% na JSS or Top Rated badge after 1 day for freelancing. Celebrate your struggles. Celebrate your set backs. Post your $3 rate. Post your failures. Post your personal journey. Stay real for and to yourself.
Ay hala andaldal ko na naman. Lelz.
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